Warning signs abound. Feelings of apathy, hopelessness and a lack of motivation are tell-tale signs that you are in a rut. But we may need help spotting them. “We don’t think outside our thinking,” says Dee Johnson, a solutions–focused psychotherapist. “Until an objective person, whether that’s a therapist, coach or friend says: ‘Are you aware that you do this …?’ we don’t see it. It’s important to explore that because you need that shift in your perception of self.”
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The narratives we tell ourselves can hold us back. Give self-deprecating sentiments the swear jar treatment. Drop a quid in for every: “I’ll never …” “I’m rubbish at …” “I can’t …”. It’s helpful to identify where this negativity comes from – a naysaying parent perhaps, or a childhood bully – but don’t dwell. The main thing is to change the story. “Repetition builds belief,” says Johnson. “So, you have to stop the negative self-talk. Your maladapted belief system – it’s just dodgy software that needs updating.”
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