Millennial fathers spend, on average, triple the amount of time with their children compared to dads in the 1960s. It’s no straightforward golden age – parenting today is for many a complex juggle – but the shift in roles has been profound, with children and society poised to benefit. In this series, we meet two men who are dadding differently, and the fatherhood scientist who’s tracking the rise of more involved dads.
Father in focus #1: Paul Bent, father to Hunter, five
From being mindful of his body language, to choosing positive, empowering language, Paul is determined that his relationship with Hunter will be characterised by trust and safety
Every Sunday, it’s the same drill. Early to the park for football practice. Then on to their favourite cafe for a blueberry muffin (“always blueberry”). Next home, via the shops, to cook lunch together. Afterwards, a spot of tennis (“he insists on calling it ‘racket’!”) or perhaps a few hoops. Maybe some TV later. Then, dinner, bathtime, PJs and a bedtime story.
“Just before Hunter goes to sleep, we have this little two or three-minute conversation, about his day and how he’s feeling,” says Paul Bent, who is father to the five-year-old. “That’s the most special bonding time. That’s our core.”
A 40-year-old regional director of a London-based estate agent, Bent is emblematic of a more hands-on, more invested kind of father figure. One who’s not just physically present but also emotionally available: who’s there to hold his child’s hand when they’re scared at night, to listen to their concerns, who, in short, ‘shows up’ as a dad.
